Further Back
by Slutmonkey Radishballs
Summary: Harry gets the option to go "further back" when he sacrifices himself to ensure Voldemort's demise. His parents wish him to have a real childhood with fun and pranking this time around, and Harry intends to make his parents proud...again.
1. Going Back

A/N: I realize that this story will start out a little slowly, but trust me when I say it will soon pick up in pace (and pranks). I do not have a beta, so all errors are my own. Also, thank you to JKR for letting me play.

"**...This is, as they say, your party." Harry had no idea what this meant; Dumbledore was being infuriating. He glared at him, then remembered...****1**

"...I wish to see my parents. And Sirius and Remus. And...Snape," he said out loud, and before Dumbledore's mouth had even fully formed an 'O' of shock, Harry was engulfed in a hug which surely would have squeezed the life out of him had he not already been The-Boy-Who-Maybe-Just-Died.

"Harry! Oh, my darling son…" Harry happily realized he was in the middle of a hug with both his parents. Looking over his shoulder, he saw Remus, Sirius, and Snape watching, each with pensive expressions on their face. He gave a nod to them, and Remus and Sirius joined in the hug, while Snape walked over and patted Harry on the head with a smirk and a wink.

"And YOU!" his godfather rounded on Dumbledore, shaking a finger in his general direction. "How DARE you show up here!" Sirius barked as he stalked over to Dumbledore and started lecturing, poking Dumbledore in between statements.

"You STOLE his childhood," Poke. "You didn't do what his parents wanted you to do!" Poke. "You LEFT HIM with the Dursleys!" Poke. "Much like you left ME in Azkaban!" Poke. "You did NO RESEARCH to remove the Horcrux other than assuming Harry would have to die to get it out and be able to kill Voldemort!" with this last poke, and a gasp from Harry, Dumbledore fell over, his face red, and hung his head.

"This is all true. But what I did I did for – " before he could finish his statement Remus interrupted.

"If you say 'for the greater good,' I'll kick you right in your bollocks! Ten years in Azkaban! All you had to do was demand a trial, demand Sirius be questioned under Verituserum!" Remus looked even scarier than he had in his wolf form, and Harry snuggled in deeper within his parent's arms, which hadn't left him since they showed up.

As Sirius and Remus continued to berate the late Headmaster, his mother and father pulled him aside and started talking to him rapidly.

"Now Harry, you have to know that we are all so very proud of you," his mother started, pulling him down next to her on a bench.

"Even Snape?" he asked, looking up at his former Potion's professor, who had followed them over.

"Me, proud of a Potter? Perish the thought!" Snape drawled, fanning himself with his hand and sighing dramatically.

"Oh, Sev, cut it out, you already sobbed your heart out claiming 'I would do it all over so differently if I could' to us not ten minutes ago!"

Harry looked up sharply, but quickly back at his mother when he recognized the "don't you dare say a word, Potter" look that he had received so many times in the past.

"Harry, when Dumbledore said you could move on, or go back…well, you can go, shall we say…as far back as you wish, really." His father said, while rumpling his hair.

"What do you mean, I could go back to before I died?" Harry asked, confused.

"You could…well, Harry, your father and I feel a bit guilty about you not having any kind of childhood, really. And here you are, actually contemplating NOT going back, just because of how Tuney and her horrid husband raised you…well, we rather thought that maybe, since you already fulfilled the prophecy – "

"Twice. Twice he has fulfilled that stupid prophecy. Oh, if I never heard of it again…" Snape interrupted, looking quite put upon as he examined his fingernails with a look of boredom on his face.

"Yes, well, now that you've done your bit with the Horcruxes – "  
>"But I didn't kill Voldemort. How can the prophecy be fulfilled, I have to go back and kill him, don't I?" Harry said, looking at Snape when he realized he mentioned the prophecy again, before quickly looking down when he saw the Raised Eyebrow of "Really, Potter, Are You That Dense?" Snape send his way.<p>

"Harry, you never had to KILL Voldemort. No, you had the power to VANQUISH him, which you did. He's mortal now; anyone can kill him! Hell, let Neville do it, kid could use some glory for a change," Sirius interrupted, only to be silenced when Snape pulled his wand and muttered, "silencio, mutt."

"Harry, time…time is a very strange thing, especially for magical folks. Fate, prophecy, we believe in all these things, yet we still have the ability to go back in time…"

"…like the Time Turner Hermione and I used to rescue Sirius from the dementors?"

"Like that, but…Harry, not everyone can claim to willingly sacrificing themselves in order to save the world from a Very Evil Dark Lord. Add that to your mother and fathers sacrifice, well, you're thrice protected from Time and Fate." Remus had joined in, and Harry looked over to Dumbledore only to see that he had his arms and legs tied behind him like a rodeo pig, and a gag in his mouth. He also seemed to have developed two black eyes in the few minutes he had been talking to his parents.

"Honey, I know this is a lot to put on you, but…you can go back further. To when you were a child, before Dumbledore got his sticky, lemon drop-covered fingers on you. To be specific, you can go back to the day you first learned about magic, and actually have a childhood." his mother explained.

His father quickly chimed in, "Oh, and guess what? This time around, no horcruxes to destroy. They're gone. Don't ask me to explain it, because Time and the Fates got very frustrated when I couldn't follow their logic on this one, but if you go back, you'll have such an easier time, you won't have to see so many deaths…"

"…Cedric," Harry whispered, starting to think of the possibilities. "Remus, Sirius…if I go back to before you died, can I stop you from dying?"

"Well, you can stop us from dying how we died if enough things are changed," Remus began, only to be interrupted by Sirius.

"But…if we really are Fated to die, that will still happen. I do have it on good authority that there were quite a few people who were NOT supposed to die so soon, and only did because of one man who couldn't keep his overly large nose out of everyone's business…and for once, I'm NOT talking about Snape."

At this comment, Snape bopped Sirius in the back of the head.

"Potter, as much as I hate to admit it…I was wrong. About you, about just about everything. There is so much good you could do if you go back…"

"…and just think of the pranking opportunities!" Sirius threw in, ignoring a second bop on the head by Snape.

Harry interrupted him. "I'll do it. I'll go further back."

And before he could say goodbye, he was gone.

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**BOOM. The whole shack shivered and Harry sat bolt upright, staring at the door.****2**

_Wait, door?_ he thought, looking around. _It worked! I'm back! Hagrid!_

Harry sat carefully and watched as Hagrid entered, snickering to himself as Hagrid first called Dudley a great lump, and then his uncle a great prune. This time, he thanked Hagrid for the birthday cake.

When Hagrid explained who he was, Harry decided this time around to have a little more fun.

"Yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, 'course."

"Er – no," he said again, and again apologized when Hagrid looked shocked. He played innocent again, just waiting to hear his uncle say…ah yes, he really DID say "Mimblewimble" when Hagrid started yelling at him. Harry could barely contain his smile and had to force his face into a look of utter confusion.

And even when Hagrid told him he was a wizard, he still decided to play ignorant. "But Hagrid, m-m-m-magic, it's not REAL, you know." He chanced a glance at his Uncle, and saw a slight look of triumph on his face.

"Not - what? Magic, of COURSE magic is real! Oi, what have you lot been doing to Harry?" Hagrid demanded, standing up and stomping over to the Dursleys. "If you think a great muggle like yourself can keep Harry Potter from goin' to Hogwarts, well…"

"**We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to that rubbish," said Uncle Vernon, "swore we'd stamp it out of him! Wizard indeed!"****3**

"Stamp it out of him?" Hagrid asked, looking furious. "STAMP IT OUT OF HIM?" drawing to his full height, Hagrid was massive, indeed. Harry jumped behind the couch, wondering what would happen this time, with a thoroughly furious Hagrid and his pink umbrella.

With a flick of his umbrella, Vernon's head morphed into that of a donkey. Petunia's neck grew even longer, if possible, giving even more the illusion of an ostrich, while Dudley shrieked as a tail sprouted from his behind.

"Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone, I'm not exactly supposed ter do magic." At Harry's nod, Hagrid sat back down and patted the seat next to him. "Come now, Harry, why don't you read yer letter?" Hagrid said softly, sitting back down and pulling a familiar envelope from his pocket. Harry giggled quietly to himself, wondering how much more powerful Hagrid's magic would be if you combined a working wand with that temper.

Harry quickly read his letter, ignoring the "heehaws!" his uncle was making in the background, and then looked up at Hagrid and asked, "if my parents were magical, then how did they die in a car crash?"

"**CAR CRASH!" roared, Hagrid, jumping up so angrily that the Dursleys scuttled back to their corner. "How could a car crarsh kill Lily an' James Potter? It's an outrage! A scandal! Harry Potter not knowin' his own story when every kid in our world knows his name!"****4**

At Harry's prompting, Hagrid told the same story as last time, even admitting he couldn't spell Voldemort (which was much funnier this time around, though Harry stopped himself from laughing at his first ever friend in the wizarding world) and by the end both Hagrid and Harry were in tears. And when Hagrid admitted that he had brought Harry to the Dursley's on Dumbledore's orders, Harry interrupted him.

"Hagrid, why did Dumbledore want me to be raised by my Aunt and Uncle? They hate freaky stuff, they hate me, and I couldn't even use the word 'magic' in the house without getting a good walloping, or getting locked in my cupboard without food." At this comment Hagrid looked even angrier than before. "Don't you think my mother would have known how much her sister hated magic, and would have left instructions for me to be raised…well, anywhere but with them?"

Hagrid had a contemplative look on his face for a moment, before saying, "Well, I expect Dumbledore has a reason. Great wizard, Dumbledore, best Headmaster Hogwarts has ever had!"

"Yes, but why was the Headmaster of the school in charge of placing me in a home after my parents died? In the, ah – Muggle world, they have Child Services to do that sort of thing. An entire government agency just dedicated to making sure children are in safe and happy homes. Why wasn't that done for me?"

At this, Harry could see, Hagrid was stumped. A look of doubt spread across his face, and didn't leave immediately.

"Well…best be getting to sleep. Wouldn't want t'be trav'lin again out in that weather. Tomorrow we'll go and get yer school things in London."

"London! I've never been to London!" Harry exclaimed, carefully putting a look of delight on his face while at the same time batting his eyelashes.

"Right, err…g'night then."

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"**This is it," said Hagrid, coming to a halt, "the Leaky Cauldron. It's a famous place."****5**

Harry haltingly followed Hagrid in, keeping his eyes and head down in the hopes he wouldn't be swamped with people yet again, but well…if wishes were Galleons. He fought back his temper as Quirrellmort stammered at him, noticing this time around his scar didn't hurt just from looking at the back of his head. _I wonder if I'll still be a Parselmouth__? _

Hagrid counted the bricks, and even though he had seen it before, Harry was still amazed every time he walked into Diagon Alley – especially after having been on the run for the past year. He blinked away tears and reminded himself that no one save his parents had died for him yet, and that they had wanted him to have a fun and prank-filled childhood this time around. Shaking off the ghosts of battles past, Harry smiled and skipped after Hagrid, looking around him this way and that.

"Hagrid…err, not to be a bother, but I seem to be standing out a bit. Can we ah, maybe, get me some wizard clothes first?"

"Of course, Harry! Just need ter stop at Gringotts first, that's our wizard bank. Need ter get some gold out fer you teh shop with, and I'm on an important errand for Dumbledore." Harry ignored the feeling of dread that crept up his neck as they walked up to the white building.

When they got inside Gringotts and Hagrid handed over Harry's key, Harry turned to the Goblin and immediately started asking all the questions he had thought of, after the fact, so many years ago.

"Oi, all someone needed to get access to my vault was that tiny key? Do you send statements? If you do you better check your process, because until today I didn't even know I had an account at Gringotts! If all someone needs is that key, then anyone could have been getting into my vault all these years and I never would have known! This entire business seems quite dodgy to me." As Harry spoke, the eyes on the Goblin got bigger and bigger while his frown got larger and larger (incidentally, the more a Goblin frowns, the more of their sharp teeth show). 6

During his small speech, having never seen anyone speak to the Goblins in such a way without weapons being drawn, Hagrid was sputtering, "Gah – beh – stop – err – eugh – aaaah," and finally, something that sounded suspiciously like "Mimblewimble."

"Griphook! Hornpipe!" the Goblin shouted. Two more Goblins appeared next to Harry. "Mr. Potter here has some…questions…about the handling of his money. Would you please escort him to your office and…explain things to him?"

Griphook (presumably? Harry never could figure out how to tell them apart) said to Harry, "Right, follow me, Mr. Potter!" and Harry started walking away, noticing out of the corner of his eye that Hagrid was following.

"Mr. Hagrid, Hornpipe will escort you on your business," and Hagrid felt a strong tiny hand pulling him away from the direction Harry was walking, and down a separate hallway towards the carts.

Once seated in front of a desk, Griphook frowned as he opened a desk drawer and pulled a folder a few centimeters thick out. "Now, Mr. Potter, I will assume you did not intent to insult the integrity of all Goblins by making such a fuss, and with that consideration I shall attempt to explain to you why you were never told of your vaults before now in small words so a tiny wizard such as yourself may be able to understand."

"No, I already know Dumbledore did it. I want you to UNdo it. Immediately. I will be keeping track of my own finances, not Dumbledore." Harry replied, crossing his arms over his chest, hoping he looked stern, and not pouty.

Before him, Griphook frowned deeper. He sat back in his chair, staring at Harry, who was starting to wonder if this was such a good idea after all. The Goblins had, he remembered sadly, totally screwed him the last time around.

"As your magical guardian, he will still receive copies of your bank statements and be able to ban you from access to all but your trust vault until you reach the wizard age of majority. He would also have access to your trust fund in order to make withdrawals on your behalf, which he has done on a monthly basis since your parent's death. This we cannot change until you have a new guardian who waives the rights to your fiscal responsibility…or unless you wish to file an Official Complaint and request an Internal Audit." Griphook frowned even deeper.

"And what happens if I do that?" Upon hearing "monthly withdrawals," Harry realized that the Dursley's had probably been receiving money his entire childhood, something he had never – but probably should have - realized. He never knew just how well Dumbledore had sewn him up as a kid.

"Your assets would be frozen except to be used by you for that which they were intended – school supplies – until such time as we were able to determine there had been no wrongdoing on the behalf of your guardian in regards to your account management. There is a fee sliding scale, which determines how…quickly such an audit would be completed. The maximum fee is 200 Galleons, and minimum is two Galleons."

"I see. Well, Mr. Griphook, I will pay whichever fee it takes to freeze Dumbledore out of my account as long as possible (preferably indefinitely). What happens if you determine through this audit that moneys withdrawn for my support were misused?"

Griphook's frown reached a depth that made Harry's spine shiver. "Then appropriate reparations shall be demanded, Mr. Potter. From all parties involved."

"Excellent," Harry said while signing the form Griphook had placed in front of him.

1 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Scholastic.

2 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Scholastic.

3 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Scholastic.

4 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Scholastic.

5 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Scholastic.

6 While it may LOOK like a "smile," and be described as such by those who do not know, when a Goblin stretches the corners of its lips out in any direction, it is actually a frown. They do not smile. Ever.


	2. Hagrid is Seasick

A/N: I realize that this story will start out a little slowly, but trust me when I say it will soon pick up in pace (and pranks). I do not have a beta, so all errors are my own. Also, thank you to JKR for letting me play.

A/N in the 2nd: I assume that the 1:5 ratio of galleons to pounds JKR quoted is completely off, and for the purposes of my sanity, I will assume that a wand – as an investment in a child's future and a piece of very specialized equipment for a private education – costing 7 galleons, actually costs more than 35 pound, otherwise why would the Weasley's not be able to afford a new wand for Ron? Going off the wiki it seems more likely – if you go by muggle gold values – to be a 1:100 ratio of galleon to pound. Well, that would put a wand at 700 pound, which is about what my parents paid for me to get a Bach Stradivarius trumpet when it became apparent I was very talented and going quite far with my music. However, if a butterbeer costs 2 sickles, then a butterbeer actually costs almost 12 pounds, which is about three times what I paid for a Guinness when I was in the UK. And if Harry paid 5 knuts in the beginning of book one for Hagrid's paper, that means the paper cost over 12 pounds…which seems excessive, even for a ridiculous rag such as the Daily Prophet. However, if we go by the 1:25 ratio as suggested on the wiki page…well, everything but the wands make sense. I can only infer from this that either A) Mrs. Weasley really didn't really give a Scabbers' turd about Ron, or B) knew Ron was a lazy slacker and didn't want to waste the money buying him a wand he would never use to his best abilities, anyway. ANYWAY, I only bring this up because I'm going to (mostly) skip over prices for most of this tale, because…I really don't care anymore after doing all that math.

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After receiving a nice little moleskin money bag (the Goblins assured him it was made of Genuine Mole Skin, and charmed to hold quite a bit more than it seemed at first glance) and filling it with just about as much money as he dared (which was quite a lot since Dumbledore was going to be caught up in an Internal Audit for the foreseeable future), Harry met back up with Hagrid in the lobby of Gringotts.

"All set there, Harry?" Hagrid asked, looking slightly worried at losing track of Harry within moments of stepping into Gringotts.

"All set. Where can I go to get new clothes? The Dursley's never bought me anything, and all I have are all of Dudley's old hand-me-downs, which fit me about as well as they would fit the Goblins, don't you think?" Harry asked, batting his eyelashes at Hagrid again.

"Err, right…Gladrags is right over there, that's where yeh'll find yer wizard clothes…and right across here is Madam Malkin's, yeh'll go there for school robes."

Harry stared up at Hagrid, wondering if he were going to…

"**Listen, Harry, would yeh mind if I slipped off fer a pick-me-up in the Leaky Cauldron? I hate them Gringotts carts."****1**

"Go ahead, Hagrid. I'm used to doing things on my own. I'll be fine. Why don't we just meet back up at the Leaky Cauldron in say, four hours?"

"Well, I do need to nip down to Knockturn to get me some supplies fer Pom-err, Professor Sprout. If yer sure now…" Hagrid looked down at Harry seriously, but Harry could tell he was itching to get away from him, and his eyelash flutters.

"I'll be fine!" Harry insisted, this time waggling his eyebrows.

"Err, right…listen, if yeh get inna any trouble, yeh just ask fer Tom at the Leaky Cauldron, ok?" Hagrid was already walking swiftly towards said pub, so Harry walked into Gladrags, happy to be free of his escort (and wondering if Hagrid would still be buying him Hedwig ).

Thankfully the staff at Gladrags did not ooh and aah over his supposed celebrity status, and Harry bought himself a respectable wardrobe before heading over to Gladrags, this time dressed appropriate for a wizard shopping for school robes.

Madam Malkin was still waiting by the door for him to enter.

"Hogwarts, dear?" Madam Malkin asked him, and before he could speak she said, "Just head on back, there's another young man being fitted up right now, in fact."

_It can't be…_Harry thought, but there he was in all his pale-faced poncey-haired glory: Draco Malfoy. Despite the changes to the timeline, Harry still had the bad luck of being stuck next to Malfoy for his robe fitting.

_He's only a child he's only a child he's only a child..._

When Malfoy asked him, "Hogwarts, too?" Harry graced Draco with his very best Snape-Single-Raised-Eyebrow-Of-Doom look, causing Draco to blush as Harry replied, "Why else would I be doing standing here being fitted for **Hogwarts** **robes**?"

Draco paused, and then told Harry, once more, that his father was next door buying his books, while his mother was up the street "looking at wands."

At this, Harry laughed. "Looking at wands? Whatever for? Everyone knows the wand chooses the wizard. Waste of time if I ever heard one."

"Yes, well…" Draco seemed to flounder, turning a little pink.

Having pity on him, Harry said, "Well, I suspect she's probably just nervous about her son heading off to boarding school. I'm sure my mum would be, if she were still alive."

"Err, were your parents, you know…" Draco started to ask, but Harry gave him The Look again.

"**IF** you were about to ask if my parents were wizards, why yes, they were. As to whether or not it is any of your business…well, that's a question only you can answer." Harry smirked inwardly at the look of confusion that passed over Draco's face before he rallied his expression back into some semblance of a Proper Malfoy Sneer.

"Sorry to hear about your parents, anyhow. Is that why you're here all alone?" Draco asked, looking towards the front of the store and seeing that no one accompanied Harry.

"Yes. Hagrid brought me, but I told him I could do my shopping on my own and that I would meet up with him later back at the Leaky Cauldron." Harry replied, wondering just how much change he could affect on the timeline if he started this early.

Draco interrupted his thoughts, "I've heard of him. He's a sort of servant, isn't he?"

"Well, he's the gamekeeper, and keeper of keys. Now that I'm out and about, shopping on my own, I find that I actually could use some help navigating the wizarding world. You see, I was raised by horrid muggles, who hated magic and left me with a woeful lack of preparation for Hogwarts. You seem to know what you're on about, though. I don't suppose you would do me the favor of lending your expertise and guidance to me during my first foray into Diagon Alley?"

And with this bit of flattery, any fun Harry had already taken at Draco's expense was forgotten, because Draco puffed out his chest, stuck out his hand, and said, "Draco Malfoy, at your service!"

Harry shook his hand and replied, "Pleased to meet you, Draco! I'm James." And indeed, his middle name was, in fact, James, and perhaps was even the name he went by in The Muggle World for all Draco knew.

"You're done, dears," the women said to them, and after settling up Draco led Harry back into the Alley.

"I still need to get my books, wand, and, well…all my other supplies, except clothes." Harry offered.

"Right. Might as well go straight to Ollivanders and get our wands, that's where I'm to meet my parents anyway." Draco said, taking Harry by the hand and leading him down the street. Harry almost tripped over his own feet, looking down at his hand in Draco's, and softly muttered "Mimblewimble."

Thankfully, Harry shook off the feeling of disequilibrium before reaching Ollivander's, where waiting out front were two tall, thin, aristocratic blondes. They looked infinitely better than the last time he had seen them, beaten and battered by Voldewhatever.

"Mum, Dad, meet James! He was raised by horrid muggles, and needs my expertise and guidance during his first foray in Diagon Alley!" Draco gushed, pushing Harry towards his parents.

Harry quickly took Mr. Malfoy's offered hand, saying "Pleased to meet you, Mr. Malfoy," before grabbing Mrs. Malfoy's hand, leaning over, kissing the top of it, and saying "A pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Malfoy."

Draco goggled at this, Mr. Malfoy looked like he wanted to hit Harry upside his head with his cane, but Mrs. Malfoy…blushed and thanked him, complete with a little curtsey? _Gross,__ I__ did not need to know THAT!_

"James…I'm sorry, I didn't catch your last name, young man." Malfoy Sr. said as he attempted to Loom Intimidatingly over Harry.

"Oh sorry, it's Potter! Technically Harry James Potter, but at my muggle school they call me James because there are seventeen other Harry's in my class." Harry said, biting his tongue to keep from giggling at the three gob smacked faces before him.

"Harry…Potter…OI! Why didn't you tell me your last name was Potter?" Draco was the first to recover.

"Probably because a bunch of people went all kinds of creepy stalker on me in the Leaky Cauldron when they recognized me, and I didn't want YOU to fawn all over me as well." Harry replied, folding his arms over his chest, once again hoping to look stern, and not pouty.

"Ha! A Malfoy would never FAWN," Draco responded, patting Harry on the back. "Coming, Mother, Father?" he asked as he led Harry into Ollivanders.

Before entering the shop, Harry was positive he heard Lucius mutter "Mimblewimble."

"Ah yes, yes, yes, I knew I'd be seeing you soon, Mr. Ollivander!" Harry said upon entering the store. Ollivander opened his eyes a bit, but before he could continue Harry said, "I have my mother's eyes. Her wand was ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow, was it not? Good for charm work, am I right?"

Ollivander still hadn't bilnked.

Harry tried again, "My father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wand. Eleven inches. Pliable. A little more power and excellent for transfiguration."

Ollivander had somehow moved so he was close enough to reach out and touch the scar on his forehead (which he did). (He still didn't blink).

"**I'm sorry to say I sold the wand that did that," he said softly. "Thirteen-and-a-half inches. Yew. Powerful wand, very powerful, and in the wrong hands…well, if I'd known what that wand was going out into the world to do…"****2**

Mr. Malfoy cleared his throat. "Yes, well, as lovely as this happy trip down memory lane has been, we are here to get the boys their wands. Since you're the guest, Harry – "

But before Malfoy Sr. could finish that sentence, Harry insisted that Draco go first. "I'll feel a lot less nervous if I see someone else do it before me!" he insisted, sniggering inside at the look of fear Draco was sending at Mr. Ollivander. _I always wondered if he was fully human….maybe it's__ been__ the__ exact__ same__ creepy Ollivander__ since 382b.c._

After Draco got his wand (10 inches exactly, Hawthorne, unicorn hair core, "springy" according to Ollivander) Harry's turn was next.

Exactly as it had happened before, Harry ended up with Voldemort's brother wand, the only difference being that this time, the Malfoy family was aware. And if the look of fear on their face was anything to go by…

"I'd really appreciate it if you didn't go around telling people that I have the brother wand to the one that um, killed my parents." Harry said as they walked out of the store. All three Malfoys looked doubtful. "I would really **owe you one** if you kept this to yourselves," Harry continued, which seemed to perk them right up. _Hah. Too easy._

"Let's go to Flourish and Blotts!" Draco declared, once again grabbing Harry by the hand. This time, Harry just turned around and flashed a smile at Malfoys Senior as he was dragged back across the alley once more.

1 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Scholastic.

2 Rowling, J.K.. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Scholastic.


	3. The Malfoys are Ponces

A/N: I realize that this story will start out a little slowly, but trust me when I say it will soon pick up in pace (and pranks). I do not have a beta, so all errors are my own. Also, thank you to JKR for letting me play.

A/N in the 2nd: Blood status. Harry is not called a "half-blood" until the second book. Who dubs him a half-blood? DUMBLEDORE. I think of Harry Potter as a "first generation pure-blood," for the sake of my sanity, though I realize both Hagrid and Bellatrix Lestrange also refer to Harry as a half-blood. But really, who came up with these names? Do wizards not understand fractions? Harry is actually a quarter-blood, which is less than Tom Riddle can boast...

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Once in the bookstore Harry actually did have to admit that he was glad that he had Draco's "expertise and guidance" because included within HIS letter was a note from Snape listing _suggested reading materials for additional study_ for both potions (_Don't Be a Dunderhead: 1001 Tips and Trick__s to Top Your Peers in Potions_ by H.B. Prince) and DADA (_The Dark Arts Outsmarted)_. _No wonder Slytherins do so much better in Potions,_ he thought as he flipped through the additional potions primer which included detailed explanations as to WHY certain ingredients and techniques were used (as well as pointers on how to make your own potions), rather than just listing ingredients and directions. _Hermione will love these! _This time around, Harry did purchase _Curses and Couter-curses (Bewitch Your Friends and Befuddle Your Enemies with the Latest Revenges: __Hair Loss, Jelly-Legs, Tongue-Tying and Much, Much More)_ by Professor Vindictus Viridian, much to the amusement of Draco's parents if the looks they exchanged were anything to go by. He also picked up his own copy of _Hogwarts: A History__,_ as well as _Moste __Potente Potions__, __Ancient Runes Made Easy__, __The Healer's Helpmate__,__The Animagus Within, __Curse Breaking for Fun and Profit: How to Hobble, Wobble, and Topple Wizard Wards_ (by Snarktooth), _Advanced Transfiguration Topics (Animalia, Animate, and Inanimate), _and _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ (by Newt Scamander).**1**

Lucius was helpful in the Apocothary, making sure Harry bought "quality items as befitting a wizard of his renown," and Harry caused both his and his wife's eyebrows to raise when he pointed out that melted down, the gold cauldrons would be "worth more than ten times what they were asking for them...in the muggle world, of course."**2** Harry, after consulting with the owner, purchased everything required for first through seventh year, as well as a small expanding tabletop brewers kit ("guaranteed not to spill, spoil, or spew!"), multiple sets of both glass and crystal phials, and a dozen bezoars…just in case.

In the trunk store, Narcissa insisted that Harry buy a "proper trunk with extendable drawers and a built-in wardrobe to ensure you always look smart." While he still didn't really care about his looks, Harry realized that in order to better get along in magical society this time around he was going to have to make some adjustments to himself – outwardly, at least, and he justified it further by admitting that he had always wanted a trunk like Mad Eye, anyway. He also purchased a backpack with wizardspace and a featherlight charm, not wanting to repeat any backaches if he could avoid them. After consideration, he bought one for Hermione, as well. _She can use it until she makes her beaded bag..._

While he had reminded them he had already purchased new clothing, Narcissa had a Look on her face as she insisted on getting him at least one set of formal wizard robes. A quick trip back to Gladrags quickly turned into an event of horror that Harry thought actually rivaled battling the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets his second year. While the two male Malfoys waited in the front of the store, Harry was subjected to trying on increasingly smaller, tighter and more feminine outfits for Mrs. Malfoy, who eventually bought the lot for him as a "present for entering the wizarding world." Harry was pretty sure he would need to shower when he got back to the Dursleys, and only ended his torment by reminding her of his need to meet back up with Hagrid at the Leaky Cauldron.

"Well, thanks for all your help!" Harry said as the Malfoys were dropping him off at the Leaky Cauldron. "Today has been such a wonderful birthday, MUCH better than had I spent it with my horrid, wizard-hating muggle relatives who regularly starve me and make me sleep in the cupboard under the stairs." Harry made sure to waggle his eyebrows AND bat his eyelashes at all three Malfoys.

Draco preened, Narcissa blushed, but Lucius looked thoughtful. "Was today your birthday? How remiss of us to overlook that fact...perhaps you would agree to a late birthday luncheon at our house later this week? Perhaps Saturday?"

Draco looked excited. "Oh Harry, you MUST come! I can show you what a PROPER house looks like. You know...a WIZARD home!" Harry wondered if Draco would be punished for Gushing Unfit For A Malfoy once they got home.

Harry pretended to think, and then said, "Well, I would love to, really, but how will I get there? My relatives didn't even want me to know I was a wizard, I can't imagine they'll just drive me over to your house for a lunch. And I'm not sure if it would be right to ask Hagrid to bring me, but he's the only other wizard I know..."

"That won't be necessary. I can, of course, come and pick you up from your family's house..."

Harry didn't know what would happen with the blood wards if Lucius were to show up at number 4 Privet drive. Part of him, the marauder part, wanted to know if Dumbledore's many assertions about the strength of the wards were correct.

"Well, that would be very nice of you. I just don't know how my relatives would react to seeing another wizard on their doorstep. They didn't react very well to Hagrid, you see..."

Lucius stiffened, offended at having been compared to _Hagrid_, but one look at Narcissa's glare of warning and he quickly said, "I'm sure your relatives might react differently to a fully-trained wizard who also holds a high-ranking position in the government."

"Oh right! You're rich, aren't you! Yes, yes they probably would fall all over themselves trying to impress you...until they found out you were a wizard, at least." _Ha, could I be more tacky? Oh look, Narcissa looks like she swallowed a lemon at the mention__ of money..._

"It's settled then! Father will pick you up on Saturday and bring you over, shall we say, ten o'clock?" Draco looked up at his parents with what Harry assumed were what passed for puppy dog eyes in the Malfoy family. It took all his self-control not to roll his eyes.

"I live at number 4 Privet Drive, Surrey," Harry said.

"Number 4 Privet Drive, Surrey. I shall see you on Saturday, Mr. Potter. Say goodbye, Draco. It's time we went home."

After their goodbyes, Harry wondered about the fact that Lucius could remember his address. _Well, it's not like it's under Fidelius. I guess I'll find out on Saturday whether or not Lucius can find the house._

Hagrid was waiting for Harry holding a snowy white owl in a cage. "Happy Birthday, Harry!" he said, and Harry sighed in relief.

After thanking Hagrid for his "first ever birthday present! My Aunt and Uncle once gave me a dirty sock, but that doesn't count," Harry took the train back to Surrey as he had the first time around, and after taking all his belongings up to his room, decided to test The Trace. _After all, on the train Hermione said she had tried spells. __No where in the letter did it say we __couldn't do magic...__actually, that seems like an awfully big oversight, especially considering how many muggleborns there are._

"Lumos," Harry whispered, and was shocked when his eyes were blinded by light. "NOX! NOX!" he said, unnecessarily shaking his wand.**3** "What the..." Harry didn't finish his expletive, instead walking over to the window and opening it, expecting a Ministry owl any minute. After half an hour he got bored and went downstairs to make himself a sandwich. He noted that the Dursleys were not home yet, and assumed that Aunt Petunia must have taken them somewhere to return Hagrid's parting gifts.

He thought about his lumos, and wondered how it was much brighter than before. He came up with three likely scenarios, but less likely ways of testing them.

The first scenario he considered was that since his consciousness was sent back in time magically, maybe he brought his magical core from the future back in time with him, and it merged with his 11-year-old self's core, thus turning him into Uber Powerful Harry Potter. If this was the case, Harry resolved to have Luna design him a super hero outfit at her earliest convenience. Actually, even if this wasn't the case, he vowed to have Luna design him his very own super hero outfit, as it seemed like something that had the possibility of making Snape's head twist around on his neck awhile before exploding.

The second scenario, which Harry thought was Far More Likely, was that now that he was lacking a piece of Voldesquirts soul in his forehead leeching magic off of him, he could actually access all his magic.

The third scenario – and the one Harry thought was Most Likely - would explain why the clothing he had purchased in Diagon Alley had been four sizes larger than he remembered having to buy the first time around, including pant length and shoe size. Maybe since his family sent him back to experience a "real childhood," they gave him a body that wasn't deprived of food and sleep by the neglect of the Dursleys.

Upon further reflection, Harry thought it was also likely to be some combination of the numbers two and three. He really couldn't think of any way to actually prove which one it was, outside of him being Super Harry. If he were a super hero, then he supposed would have to race a bullet (and win), wrestle the Hogwarts Express (and win), and leap over the Astronomy tower in a single bound. Actually, now that he thought about it, he probably could do all of those things with the right kind of spells…Harry filed away that train of thought for later.

His sandwich finished and no Dire Warnings or Arrest Warrants having shown up at the house, Harry assumed the trace must be put on them when they reached school, and resolved to figure out a sly way to find out from one of the Malfoys.

_Malfoys as Minions...I like it...it's fitting. Maybe I can convince them I'm the Dark Lord or something..._

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Three days of doing nothing but reading and refreshing his spell repertoire (by alternating cursing Dudley, Petunia, and Vernon, depending on his mood) later, Harry was waiting to see if Malfoy would show up. At 9:59am he informed his relatives that he would be going for a luncheon at 10am, and took great pleasure in his Uncle blustering red-faced about how if they had known they would have been out of the house to avoid "Those Freaky People."

For this comment Harry hexed his Uncle's underwear to give him wedgies every few minutes for the next 24 hours.

At exactly 10am the doorbell rang. _Go go Dumbledore's protections!__ Wait, where did Lucius Malfoy learn to ring a doorbell? Maybe in the muggleborn torture section of Death Eater training…_

Harry opened it, and there, in all his pure-blooded aristocratic pomp and splendor was Lucius Malfoy casually leaning on his Evil Cane of Hexing. Harry had always thought it was quite possible that Malfoy's Evil Cane of Hexing was actually made of transfigured muggleborn babies. Or possibly stolen from Sauron. Whichever was more likely.

"Mr. Malfoy, thank you for coming. Would you, err...like to come in and meet uh..." Harry couldn't finish his statement as the outfit Malfoy was wearing seemed to have scrambled his brain. Not waiting for an articulate invitation, Lucius swept into the house with a sneer.

Harry had to bite his lip. Lucius was dressed in his Moste Prestigious Wizardly Robes, made of crushed deep purple velvet and with accented with a silver, doily-esq trim around his cape…no, actually, when Harry looked closer at the edges, it seemed that the doily was actually delicately embroidered skulls with snakes wrapped around them in the silver thread. _I thought Slytherins were known for their subtlety.__ I wonder if that's his actual Death Eater cape?_ Lucius was also wearing a hat reminiscent of Robin Hood, if only the glittering peacock feathers were not sticking out of a tiny, grinning bird skull balanced precipitously on the brim.

But the pièce de résistance and coup de grâce of Lucius Malfoy's elaborate ensemble was the silver bandolier, hanging across his chest and reaching towards his green silken belt (from which a sword hung that Harry was certain had been stolen from Inigo Montoya) and from the belt it was just a hop, skip and jump for his eyes to look down at Lucius'…

…Royal. Purple. Tights.

Harry coughed. Twice.

Petunia stood in shock, her mouth opening and closing with no particular rhythm, a small trail of spittle expanding down from the corner of her mouth.

Dudley had taken one look at the wizard and run over and shut himself into Harry's old cupboard.

Vernon had gone deathly pale, but was edging every closer to the fireplace, over which the shotgun was once again hanging. He also seemed to be unable to take his eyes away from the rather obvious bulge in said royal purple tights. _Gross!_

"I am Lord Lucius Malfoy of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Malfoy, here to pick up Mr. Potter for a luncheon. I apologize for not asking in advance, but Mr. Potter indicated that you were indisposed when the invitation was issued during his Moste Important First Trip to Diagon Alley," Harry actually flinched at this, and wondered if Lucius had somehow found out what Hagrid had done to his relatives. _Wait a minute, s__ince when was he a Lord?__ I call bullshite!_

Veron started turning purple, but before he could say anything, Lucius continued, "Without wishing to impose upon you further, I would like to extend an invitation for your...ward...to spend the rest of the summer at my Family Manor. My wife and I will, of our course, see to it that he makes the train to Hogwarts when the time comes."

"Mimblewimble" seemed o be the only coherent statement Vernon could manage, seeing as he seemed to be hypnotized by the Purple Pantaloons of Persuasion**.**

Had the Purple Pantaloons of Persuasion been subjected to any of the Ministry's dark arts detectors, they most certainly would have been confiscated once the enchantments on them were revealed. While many wizards thought the Purple Pantaloons of Persuasion had been lost long ago by Don Quixote during his elusive Third Quest (which Cervantes had to take a Wizards Oath to never reveal the true nature of for fear of a muggleborn uprising), but were actually stolen by Sancho when Don Quixote passed out drunk one night in an inn, err, castle.

"Now see here - " Vernon started, but was quickly cut off by Petunia, who had finally come out of the daze that was commonly observed when people were exposed to the Gloriously Resplendent Patriarch of House Malfoy for the first time.

"He can go! Run upstairs to **your room** and get your things, Harry Dear! This nice man is offering you what I'm sure is a wonderful opportunity; staying in the house of a Lord, indeed!"

Staring at his Aunt in shock, it took a nudge from Lucius for him to walk up the stairs and gather his things, muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "boombasticfantastic" under his breath.

"Meet me at Malfoy Manor, Hedwig" he said to his owl, opening the window for her.

"Hoot!" she replied, nipping at his fingers, before taking off. _ Wish I spoke owl instead of snake sometimes.  
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1 Spot the AU literature. Some foreshadowing for future pranks.

2 Harry might be bluffing here, but I wouldn't know since I have no idea what a gold cauldron costs.

3 Unnecessary wand shaking is, shall we say, "A Wizard's Thing."


	4. What is Quiddich

A/N: I realize that this story will start out a little slowly, but trust me when I say it will soon pick up in pace (and pranks). I do not have a beta, so all errors are my own. Also, thank you to JKR for letting me play.

A/N in the 2nd: I never liked the rivalry that went on between Harry and Draco in the books.

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After making sufficient nonsensical noises about the opulence and grandeur of the Malfoy family mansion, Harry was led upstairs by Draco to see the room that had been prepared for him.

His room was slightly smaller than Draco's; it didn't have room for a swimming pool.

Lunch was served on a patio which overlooked a maze full of various magical creatures…and peacocks, which Draco explained "aren't magical, but are quite lovely to look at, aren't they?" Harry quietly muttered a spell under his breath so the peacocks would chase after and peck at anyone who came within 20 feet of them.

Draco then spent the rest of the day giving him a tour of the manor, which they didn't have time to finish before dinner was served. Harry feigned ignorant to the proper use of silverware, which garnered him promises for etiquette lessons from Narcissa the next day.

They turned out to be very hands on lessons, and Harry grew exceedingly frustrated that he was stuck in his 11-year-old body. Narcissa, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying herself far too much if the flush across her cheeks and chest were anything worth basing an opinion.

Two days later, when the tour of the mansion and grounds had finally been completed, Draco decided it was imperative that Harry learn to ride a broom. And who better to teach Harry to ride a broom than a member of the Hollyhead Harpies? - which, as it turned out, was Lucius' favorite Quiddich team.

"What's Quiddich?" Harry asked innocently, and almost laughed out loud when Draco's response (and enthusiasm in explaining the sport) rivaled Ron's original reaction to the question. After he was assured – and reassured – that Quiddich was the best game ever invented in the history of history, he was introduced to Gwenog Jones, Captain and Beater of the Hollyhead Harpies.

Gwenog cut quite a figure in her tight, sleeveless practice Quiddich robe, which was shorter in front and longer in the back. She wore red leather bracers on her wrists and her dragon hide boots went up to her thighs to disappear under the front of her robe. She was slightly taller than Narcissa, but where Narcissa was lithe, Gwenog had a more athletic build, with well-defined muscles. She was beautiful in a fierce, Amazonian way, with striking golden eyes and hair that was a mixture of auburn, red, burgundy, and gold, which made Harry think of all the leaves changing color in fall. Her hair was pinned up in an intricate pattern of braids braided into braids braided into braids around head, and her skin had a lovely glowing tan. Harry had to shake his head a few times to clear it, and wondered if she was the equivalent to the redheaded stepchild of Veela for a moment.

After determining that both boys were capable of saying "up!" and that both brooms responded immediately ("good job, Harry!" he heard Narcissa praise from the gilt lawn chairs Lucius had conjured for them), Gwenog began explaining to them the proper way of mounting a broom and making "sure to keep your core and leg muscles firmly engaged, with your hands firmly gripping the broom so you don't slip off the tip."

Lucius giggled at this comment, which earned him an elbow in the side from Narcissa. Harry's mind boggled and wondered if she were perhaps distantly related to Madame Hooch before deciding she had probably either learned from or played with Hooch at some point in her Quiddich life.

After a morning of flying, they broke for a light lunch, and afterwards Gwenog played a little one-on-two Quiddich with them with just the Quaffle, and then she used her Beater's bat to hit the Quaffle at Harry and Draco as they dodged and weaved on their brooms. Harry was declared a natural flyer by all, which earned him a pat on the shoulders from Draco, a nod from Lucius, and an awkward kiss on the cheek from Narcissa.

Gwenog gave both boys signed posters of the Holyhead Harpies before leaving, as well as four tickets to her next match, which happened to fall over the Winter break from Hogwarts.

Harry almost forgot himself, he was having so much fun, and dinner that night was so pleasant he felt like a little boy for the evening, alternating praising and blushing about Gwenog in whispers at the table while Draco's parents tried to keep the conversation about the sport, and not the beautiful player.

After dinner, he and Draco were playing a game of Wizard's chess when Draco asked him, out of the blue, "were your muggles really quite terrible to you?"

Harry considered his answer carefully. He had been making quite a few flippant remarks about them so far, but the tone of Draco's voice implied that 1. Draco was asking quite seriously, and 2. Draco was probably on a task for his father.

"They were. They treated me worse than a House Elf. I spent all day doing increasingly long lists of chores, hoping that if I did them well enough my 'family' would actually let me have scraps after they were done eating the meals I prepared for them. I'm sure I'm so much shorter than you from lack of proper nutrition growing up; it's hard to have growth spurts when you're eating stale bread and drinking water from the garden hose. I was too afraid to ever do well in school, because if I did better than my big, fat lump of a cousin my Uncle would wallop me and lock me in my room – which was the cupboard under the stairs until I got my first Hogwarts letter and they were convinced they were under some sort of surveillance." Harry paused to take a breath, and Draco interrupted.

"They're not very smart, are they? I mean, if someone WAS watching you, they wouldn't have been able to treat you that way for so many years…right?"

"Actually, I'm pretty sure that man – Dumbledore – knows exactly how I've been treated. A few things Hagrid said to me, and that my Aunt and Uncle let slip over the years – has convinced me that for some reason the Headmaster wanted me treated like a House Elf. I mean, honestly – who leaves a baby on a front stoop with nothing but a note to say they have to raise it?"

Draco gasped, and said "Dumbledore left you on their STOOP with a NOTE? I've heard Father say he's barmy, but that takes the cake! No proper wizard would ever leave a child on someone's STOOP without at least a proper tea!"

Harry coughed to cover his snort, and then asked Draco, "I also found out some interesting things from the Goblins while I was there. It seems that Dumbledore was paying them to take care of me – and all my life they were accusing me of stealing food out of Dudley's mouth and clothes from his back! The Goblins said the only way to truly get Dumbledore's fingers out of my money would be to get another magical guardian, but I'm afraid that someone else would just end up taking my money as well."

He could actually HEAR Draco thinking at these words. He covered it well by pretending to figure out which piece he wanted to move next, but was so distracted that Harry immediately put him in check after his move.

"What if you got a Proper Wizard who promised not to take your money? Someone who could do what a magical guardian SHOULD do – teach you about the Wizarding world, and keep you away from those filthy, disgusting muggles?"

"Where would I find someone like that? And how could I just trust a promise not to take my money? Greed is a powerful motivator, Draco," Harry replied, putting Draco into check again.

Draco seemed to think on it a moment before moving his piece and putting Harry in check in return. "Well, you just would need a Wizard's Oath, wouldn't you?"

Harry pretended his glee was from his next move, which was check mate. Inside he was squeeing with delight, and he swore his voice was shaking as he asked, "Wizarding Oath? What's that?"

"Ugh, you really DO need a proper guardian, Potter. A Wizarding Oath is an oath upon your magic – you promise with your magic, and if you break that promise, you basically lose your magic, and die. Here, let's play another game…" he started setting up the pieces while Harry pretended to think.

"Where would I find someone willing to do that, though? From how Hagrid described Dumbledore, he seems like a really powerful Wizard. I mean, you'd have to be really powerful to stand up to him, wouldn't you?"

Draco puffed out his chest, and was about to say something when suddenly the bedroom door opened and Lucius walked in. "Draco, Harry, it's time to wash up for bed."

"But Father – "

"It's time for bed. You can play more chess tomorrow." The Look that Lucius was currently giving Draco was almost as intimidating as Snape's Force 7 Glare, but not quite. Harry wondered if Snape practiced those looks in front of the mirror for a moment before remembering where he was.

"G'night Draco! G'night Mr. Malfoy!" Harry said as he scampered out of Draco's room and into his own. He noticed Narcissa standing a bit down the hallway, and called out a goodnight to her as well before closing his door.

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For the next few days Draco and Harry got into a routine of breakfast, etiquette lessons, flying, lunch, reading out of their school books (and practicing spells under the careful watch of Lucius), flying, dinner, and evenings spent playing Wizarding games. It was on the third night after his conversation about a new guardian that Lucius Malfoy asked Harry if he and Narcissa could speak with him after dinner.

"Harry, I don't want you to get mad at Draco for speaking with us about your conversation the other night, but he felt as your friend that maybe he – well, we – could do something to help you out with this magical guardian situation…" Narcissa was speaking to him softly with a gentle smile on her face.

"Do you know someone who would be willing to go up against the headmaster, Mrs. Malfoy?" Harry feigned as much innocence as he could muster, and had to restrain himself from batting his eyelashes at her.

"Narcissa and I have spoken to each other – and Draco – at length. You and Draco seem to get along so well, after all – we were wondering, Harry, if you would perhaps like to make us your magical guardians? The Malfoy name alone holds much sway in the wizarding world, and we of course have no qualms about going up against Albus Dumbledore if he were to try and interfere. Which he would not be able to do if we were to go through the goblins instead of the Ministry, the reasons for which I will explain in a very delicate manner to the Minister for Magic himself so that at least once it's public we would already have his support." Lucius' speech was well-rehearsed and delivered with passion; he clearly believed that this would be easily accomplished, and by wording it the way he had, he implied that Harry was in control of his own decision, but what a poor decision it would be to even think about choosing a less powerful family than the Malfoys.

"Well, I really like both you and Madame Malfoy, and I really don't want to offend you, but it's just that everyone says Dumbledore is this great wizard, and even HE has been stealing my money like some common – money stealer. Can you do that thing Draco told me about – that oath – so I know for sure you just want me for me, and not for my money?" Harry tried to look as uncomfortable as possible while making this request, even looking down and dragging the toes of his feet around the ground in a little circle, with his hands clasped behind his back.

In reply, Lucius produced his wand and said, "I Lucius Malfoy – " here Narcissa drew hers as well, stating "And I, Narcissa Malfoy nee Black," here they spoke together, "do swear on our magic that if Harry James Potter were to choose us as his magical guardians, we would never attempt to steal his money, and we would seek to perform our duties as Proper Magical Guardians to the best of our ability, so mote it be." A flash of light – even brighter than his lumos – surrounded the two Malfoys, and Harry's expression of shock at magic was genuine – for once. He recovered quickly, though, and soon plans were in process for their "coup" against Dumbledore.

In addition to the oath, Harry somehow maneuvered the conversation – in such a manner that Lucius thought it was his idea, of course – into the idea of a magical contract of sorts after much verbal pontification on the subject of why Harry had been placed in the care of his Moste Evil Aunt and Uncle, and what possible rebuffs Dumbledore could come up with to prevent Harry from escaping Dumbledore as his magical guardian. Harry's safety was brought up, and clauses to ensure that Lucius and Narcissa would offer the same safety and protection to Harry as their own son were worked into the rapidly growing document. Short of an agreement from Lucius to disavow Voldewart should he ever come back, Harry was very pleased with how many concessions they had made, and realized that the sorting hat had probably been onto something when suggesting he would do well in Slytherin. Something to consider, this time around…

Of course, Lucius and Narcissa didn't care much about the magical contract since – as the crème de la crème of the pureblood, political elite in wizarding Britain, they had just secured Supreme Status – guardianship of _The Harry Potter! _And the Very Public Announcement of this fact, once made official, would be the biggest political raspberry the Malfoy family would be able to blow at Dumbledore since Lucius managed to get out of time in Azkaban due to his "Imperius" defense.

All in all, Harry was quite pleased with what they worked out, and after a quick game of chess with Draco, went to sleep with a genuine smile on his face.


End file.
